Saturday, April 19, 2008

Conspiracy Fodder

D. G. D. Davidson made this comment over on Fr. Erik's blog:

"When you destroy books, generations later, people start to wonder what was in those books, and then they decide, with no evidence, that those books must have been very wise and full of great secrets. Then when an archaelogist uncovers copies of said books, they are found to be quite ordinary and to contain what level-headed people guessed they contained anyway, but the myth of the books is so strong that people go all swoony over them and claim that at last great, ancient secrets have been revealed.

It's much better to catalogue the objectionable books so you can take them out when necessary and say, "See? There's really nothing particularly great in here!""

How many times have you heard that someone could prove some half-baked theory if they just had the evidence that obviously those responsible are hiding? Kinda makes you wonder how they know it's true to begin with if they have seen no evidence, huh? Let's get started!

What people could prove if they just had the evidence:

1. That aliens really did crash-land in Roswell, New Mexico

2. The Kennedy assassination was really a CIA plot.

3. The masons really are descendants of the Templar knights.

4. The masons really do pre-exist the 18th century.

5. Leonard Nimoy is really a Vulcan.

6. The Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon

7. The Illuminati really are in charge of the United States and want to make a New World Order

8. 9/11 really is just a Zionist plot to attack muslims

9. Democrats really aren't communists and traitors

10. Islam really is a religion of peace

11. The CIA listens in on your juicy phone conversations about what to make for dinner and saying hi to your mom.

12. Hillary really did duck from sniper fire.

13. The early christians really did beleive in sola scriptura.

14. The fruits of Vatican II

15. The Pope really is the richest man on earth

16. The Inquisition killed millions of people.

17. The middle east really does respect Jimmy Carter

18. The pope condemned the Iraq war

19. The crusades were a bad thing

20. Catholic democrats can still be Catholic

21. George Soros really isn't the son of the devil.

22. Darwinism is true

23. Bill really didn't inhale.

24. John Kerry is a war hero

25. Michelle Obama really is proud to be an American

26. Wind and solar power are effective and efficient

27. The legalization and regulation of abortion has kept it safe and rare.

28. The CEO of Exxon/Moblile is the anti-Christ for making 13M dollars by destroying the planet, but Oprah is a saint for making 270m dollars providing the world with a precious resource.

29. AIDS is an equal-opportunity killer

30. Homosexuality is normal

Ok, I'll stop here, I'm having way too much fun.


Joe of St. Thérèse said...

LOL! People would really be dumb enough to believe these.

Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Hoo Hah!